Looking back, it’s impossible to know if we made the right decisions along the way. Should we have forced Jesse to stick it out in a school that made him miserable so we could all be together more of the time? We will never know the answer. We can tell you, however, that we missed him terribly every single day. We did what we did because we felt it was the best thing for him at the time.

What we do know, is that we did not make any decision quickly or carelessly. We did lots of research and a whole lot of soul-searching.

Fast-forward many, many years. Jesse is now happily married with a new baby girl. They live in Santa Fe which is clearly very far from either Vermont or Anguilla and we miss them more than you can imagine. (We’re headed out there in about two weeks and can’t wait!)

We are hoping that one way or another, we’ll eventually end up living closer to each other at some point in time. But as painful as it is to have them so far away, we know how important it is for them to experience life independently. They have their own dreams and their own image of where they want to live and what they want to do. Right now, if that means living in Santa Fe, they have our unconditional support.

Would we love to see them more often? Absolutely! Would we love to babysit for our granddaughter on a regular basis? You bet! But the truth is that it’s not our decision to make. They know how much we love them and that we’re here for them any time at all.

You asked for advice and ended up with much more information than you probably expected. Our advice, however, is to remember that loving someone often means letting go. Give them the freedom they need can be painful but it is also one of the most important gifts you have to offer.

I have a question for you. I know that you both cherish family and love Jesse with all that you have. My question is this: How were you able to live far away from him? Did he move out of state first, or did you move to Anguilla first?

I ask this because my dear brother and sister moved across the country for their jobs and I am having a terrible time missing them. I now have young children that my siblings don’t see very often and I miss the good times that we could be sharing daily. I am torn between letting them go to pursue their own paths in life, while at the same time missing them tremendously.

Any advice?

Personally, we feel most successful when we haven’t compromised our integrity and when we provide something of value to others. To us, being successful means doing the right things as opposed to buying the right things. Sure, there’s financial success to consider as well, and we all have to find the right balance between monetary pleasures and liking who we see when we look in the mirror.

How do you define success? We’d love to hear your thoughts!

Write “Life Priorities” on the top of a piece of paper. Then list the 5 most important components in your life, placing what you value most at the top of your list and working your way down to number 5. Be honest and take your time. Common choices include, but are by no means limited to:
-Family
-Job security
-Money
-Community
-Religion
-Health
-Friends
-Home
-Leisure activities
-Public image

Ordering your priorities by writing them down will give you a valuable tool that will help you make important decisions and move forward. For example, if friends and family are at the top of your priority list, you wouldn’t want a career that requires you to be away from home much of the time. And if making money is your top priority, you wouldn’t choose a job with limited growth potential. Life is a balancing act and it’s important to keep your priorities in mind or the wrong ones might end up on top.