Having a baby, losing a job, moving to a new town, getting divorced, starting a business, getting married, becoming the boss, becoming a grandparent—what do all these things have in common?
Change, of course, is the common denominator. The big life changes, like birth and marriage and death, are easily visible yet our lives are all changing minute to minute. (Isn’t that what’s so amazing about being around little kids? You can actually see the changes from day to day, as they grow and learn.) For some reason, human beings resist change—it feels scary and stressful. But change is unavoidable. How you handle change is where choice comes in.
Successfully dealing with change depends on researching and evaluating the challenges and options at hand. Give yourself the gift of time to work on this without distractions.
1) Ask yourself what you want to do.
2) Be as focused as you can with your answers. Write them down!
3) Give careful consideration to all options, no matter how improbable they may seem.
Right now, you’re gathering information.
4) Acknowledge that change is a normal, natural part of life.
Keep coming back to this exercise until you can clearly express the changes you need to make in order to live the life you want. The insights you gain at this point will allow you to move forward. And you’ll develop the confidence that you can do more than simply endure change. You can—really and truly—learn to embrace it.
5 Comments
I have about a million changes going on at one time…how do you deal with such an eruption? Which changes are the most important to focus on? Being financially stable, personal well being, balancing time between work and family. I’m lost! Help!
You’re not lost, Susan. We all need a little help sorting and prioritizing from time to time. Here’s an exercise for you to try. We find it very helpful when life gets a little overwhelming.
Write “Life Priorities” on the top of a piece of paper. Then list the 5 most important components in your life, placing what you value most at the top of your list and working your way down to number 5. Be honest and take your time. Common choices include, but are by no means limited to:
-Family
-Job security
-Money
-Community
-Religion
-Health
-Friends
-Home
-Leisure activities
-Public image
Ordering your priorities by writing them down will give you a valuable tool that will help you make important decisions and move forward. For example, if friends and family are at the top of your priority list, you wouldn’t want a career that requires you to be away from home much of the time. And if making money is your top priority, you wouldn’t choose a job with limited growth potential. Life is a balancing act and it’s important to keep your priorities in mind or the wrong ones might end up on top.
Hi Bob and Mel,
How do you define “success? successful?”
Good question, Katie. The only true definition of success can be found in your heart. If that sounds idealistic, just think about it for a minute. The wonderful thing about success is that you get to decide exactly what it means to you. It has nothing to do with other people’s expectations. If you allow your family or society to define what makes you successful, it’s not really your success at all. It’s theirs.
Personally, we feel most successful when we haven’t compromised our integrity and when we provide something of value to others. To us, being successful means doing the right things as opposed to buying the right things. Sure, there’s financial success to consider as well, and we all have to find the right balance between monetary pleasures and liking who we see when we look in the mirror.
How do you define success? We’d love to hear your thoughts!
Powerful words. Thank you. I’m going to ponder this issue and get back to you.