We all have big decisions to make at various points in our lives, and they’re the ones we tend to focus on. After all, they create the narrative drama of our lives. But if you think that changing your course has to mean turning your life upside down, think again. Let’s say you’re really not enjoying your job these days. You could certainly undertake a dramatic change—quitting is always an appealing fantasy in these circumstances. But you might also be able change your job experience without changing your life from top to bottom. In other words, you don’t necessarily need a complete life make-over in order to create the life you want.
Before you can decide whether or not it’s time to make a change, you have to first examine what it is about your current situation that’s not working. We found that the best way to do this is to consider the Big Four: Passion, People, Environment, and Money. It’s not until you examine these four areas of your life and determine which needs attention that you can make a meaningful choice. You can’t come up with a solution until you clearly identify the problem. You may then find that the best solution calls for only a small change. And it’s all those seemingly small choices that end up, in fact, creating the real narrative of our lives.
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10 Powerful Promises
TEN POWERFUL PROMISES:
If there's some part of your life you'd like to change, take the first step now. Begin by making some promises to yourself. Promise yourself that you will live with confidence and passion. Promise yourself that you will trust your instincts and follow your heart. [learn more now]
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Manage Your Fears
MANAGE YOUR FEARS
Fear is a powerful emotion that can stop you dead in your tracks if you let it. But there are practical ways to manage and minimize your fears, allowing you to realize your dreams and accomplish your goals. [learn more now]
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Ask us your questions
Ask Us Your Questions
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12 Comments
Hi Bob and Mel,
I have examined what is wrong with my current job using the Big 4. It is not the money or the passion but it is the people and the environment. I am a college teacher but its like I am teaching mostly grade school students. It is getting to the point that I have to spoon feed my students so they will pass and stay in the school. The culture of the students is also the exact opposite of the students in the country where I come from. I thought I would be able to accept, adjust and enjoy teaching here in the USA but after 5 years of college teaching(because I need the income), I still am not happy teaching here. The school being a private institution caters to the students so they could keep them. It is more business oriented than education oriented. I have decided with my husband that I need a change of job but I am not sure yet what I would love doing. Thank you for your books and this website.
Trina, we know exactly what you mean when you talk about the frustrations associated with teaching in a private school environment. Before quitting your job, however, we wonder if there’s any chance that you could discuss your concerns with the administration? As you noted, it’s imperative that they maintain their enrollment in order to survive, but one would hope that their ultimate goal is to offer the best education possible. Maybe you could identify some specific problems and obstacles and suggest a few possible solutions. It might help initiate a change for the school that’s long overdue and make you happier in your current position at the same time.
That being said, it might just be time for you to move on. It sounds like you may already have a copy of “Changing Your Course” and if that’s the case, you’re ready for Step 2, which is to research your options.
Thanks so much for taking the time to write! We’d love to hear more from you along the way so if you have time, please keep in touch.
Thank you all for these comments and questions. I’m in a similar situation and it’s nice to know there’s someone else out there going through the same thing. I’m going to pick up my copy of “Changing Your Course” today.
Thanks for your comment, Tim!
Will you guys adopt me?!, (you probably get that all the time).. or hire me? - I’m just a little impressed..
I’ve been reading your book.. to the beach.. feel like I’ve walked into a movie, finding you online.
So what if the top four are all pretty much on the bottom? You wouldn’t guess it to meet me. But I’m struggling. I’ve read a lot over the years. And, I’ll look for your book and keep reading! Thanks for being tangible.
Thank you for the reply Bob and Mel and the suggestion. We have already mentioned our concerns to the people concerned in the school but all they can say is that the corporate people decides and there is nothing we can do but follow. I just bought your new book ” Changing Your Course ” and I will keep you posted on how I am doing with my decision to change course.
Hello Bob and Mel,
First of all, I would like to say how much I enjoy your postings and website. I am looking forward to reading your books.
I am in my mid 50s and work as an actress and a bookkeeper. I am very unhappy at my bookkeeping job - like the people, hate the job.
I adore acting. Even though I have only been pursuing this for a few years, I have already been in 5 movies, a TV show, a video, and a TV commercial. The work comes in spurts. Sometimes, I am very busy, sometimes, not so busy.
I have been trying to combine both jobs but it isn’t working. I am missing out on alot of acting work because of my bookkeeping job.
Also I am having health problems due to all the stress I am under trying to juggle both jobs. I should add that my husband and I maintain two residences which adds to the stress load. I keep telling my husband, I want to get down to 1 job and 1 home. Still I am afraid to take the plunge because of how bad the economy is and also how unstable the acting business is.
My husband and I do okay financially so I can afford to quit. Still I am afraid to take the plunge. Any thoughts? Thank you
Bob and Mel,
I shared with you via email my story of faith and trust in my move to the Caribbean years ago. If I had not had the ability to see that we can control our destiny as well as how and where we spend our days, I would not have all that I do today. When I tell people ‘my story’ thay say how ‘lucky’ I am. I respond gently that everyone has the choice to decide these elements of their lives.
However, when I look at the crossroad of where I am today in terms of my job, it is again time to review my ‘passion’. By Leaning on your strategy of DREAM, I am in the stages of ACT. I have started a business to share my passion of all things Caribbean. Showcasing terrific Pantry items various islands have to offer. It hss rejuvenated my spirit to be able to get started on my business. Making the ‘To Do’ list and then checking items off. It is very satisfying. Taking the small steps while still working at has allowed me to see that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. The most exciting part is to be able to see that sooner rather than later my passion will be my full time job! Thanks for your coaching and very workable strategies in Changing Courses.
Best regards,
Linda
We owe everyone an apology for not responding to your posts sooner. We’ve had a few technical problems and finally figured out what needed to be done. Computers are great - except for the days you want to throw them into the sea. Anyway, please know that we are truly sorry to have been out of touch for a little while and that we really do appreciate your participating on our blog.
Anne, you made us laugh right out loud! Adopt you, huh? Mmmmmm. We’ll give it some thought. And honestly, there’s nothing at all to be impressed about. We’ve only been able to accomplish so much by being stubborn. Our passions and our values are what motivate us. You can look at life the same way, if you choose to do so. We’re not saying it’s easy but it’s definitely a matter of choice. Don’t give up!!! Take one teeny, tiny step at a time and things will change. Please keep in touch and let us know what you’re up to. And again, please accept our sincere apologies for not responding sooner. We feel terrible!
Nancy, do you realize how wonderful it is that you’re so passionate about acting? We hear from so many people who have no idea what they want to do. You’re already on your way and that’s really fantastic!
You’ve also successfully identified specific parts of your life that absolutely must change. Health problems due to stress are just not acceptable. You’ve GOT to figure this out!
Why don’t you set aside some time to talk openly and honestly with your husband? Maybe go for a long walk or even go somewhere for a weekend with the sole purpose of coming up with some options. Take a copy of “Changing Your Course” with you so you can do some of the exercises together. That will help get you started.
As far as the economy goes, ask yourself if you might be using it as an excuse. If gas prices were cut in half and the mortgage crisis didn’t exist, would you be making your move?
Linda, you are truly an inspiration! And you’re so right when you say that everyone has the choice to live what they love. People tell us we’re lucky that we can divide our time between Vermont and the Caribbean. Sometimes we just agree and say yes, we’re very lucky. But inside we know that it’s not about luck at all. We worked hard and continue to work hard to create the life we want. We live passionately and don’t regret it for a minute.
We’re thrilled to hear that you’re in the ACT stage of our 5 D.R.E.A.M. steps. And your business hits close to home for us, considering our love for the Caribbean and the fact that we used to have a specialty food company.
Congratulations and thanks so much for sharing your story and your progress. We’re sure that your success will light a spark for someone else and inspire them to make their own move.
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