We hear from people every day who know that they need to make some sort of a change in their life. It’s often a change in career, but we also hear stories about wanting to move closer to family, start a business, or either rekindle or end a relationship. The overwhelming challenge that we all have in common when making a change is dealing with fear. There’s no question that change can be difficult, but when we allow fear to control what we do for a living, where we live, and who we spend our time with, something is terribly wrong.
What we’ve learned, and what we know deep in our souls, is that although fear is a powerful force, it’s critical to keep whatever we’re worried about in perspective. The best way we know how to approach fear when making a change is to understand – and be very aware – that it’s impossible to prepare in advance for everything that might happen to us down the road. It’s true that some level of risk comes with any change. But when we worry so much about every potential problem that might arise and therefore, we never make a move, it’s time to take control.
If you’re in a position of wanting to make a change but you have a long list of “what ifs” that’s keeping you from moving forward, it’s time to change your relationship with fear. You will absolutely not be able to predict what obstacles may or may not lie ahead, so you may as well stop worrying about them now. Stop focusing on what can go wrong and start thinking about the positive affects of making a change.
Take one step – and one day – at a time. When you hit a bump in the road, you’ll find a way to deal with it. You may even take a detour and end up going in a different direction than originally planned. That’s okay. It’s actually more than okay. That’s life. Truthfully, we’ve found that those detours are usually the best part of the journey.
3 Comments
Bob & Mel: I’m not sure if it is so much a fear of change as just stuck in a rut. I emailed you earlier at your regular address talking about our previous experience 30 yrs ago in Barbados as Peace Corps volunteers. That was before I found this website. We got lots to talk about but don’t know where to begin. It would seem foolish to walk away from a good job, and just start wedging clay and throwing pots, but I don’t know another way to yank myself out of the squirrel cage. The other option is throw myself in full time w/my wife’s jelly business and cut the strings to the paycheck, heath benefits, etc. How do you make the jump? Swan dive? cannonball?, or wade in tentatively? Any insight would be appreciated!
Roy, we feel your excitement (and hesitation) about moving forward but be careful not to rush the process. However, that doesn’t mean that you should sit and wait. Quite the contrary. Changing your course starts with making a decision. That’s Step #1. We all think about making changes but until we decide to follow through, nothing will happen. The one thing we can promise is that if you don’t decide to make a change now, nobody else can make that decision for you.
Once you’ve made the decision that SOMETHING is going to change, you’re ready for Step #2. It doesn’t matter at all if you don’t know where you’re headed. You’ll have plenty of time to work out the details along the way. One step at a time. Right now, just tell yourself that you are going to make a change.
We hate to be self-promoting, but have you had a chance to read our book, “Changing Your Course?” It outlines a very clear system for making life changes, big or small. It’s not a book that’s meant to be read straight through from cover to cover. Use it as a workbook, answering the questions and doing the exercises in each chapter. It really works.
Keep us posted on your progress!!!
Antigua is about a 30 minute flight from Anguilla so it’s probably not a practical option. Maybe you could plan a trip to Anguilla for your next tropical vacation. Sorry we couldn’t be more helpful! It’s just a little too far away for a quick visit.