As children, we both tried to color between the lines. That’s what was expected and we always wanted to do what was right. When we were in college, working for ourselves was the last thing on our minds. It never even occurred to us that having our own business was something we should consider. But somewhere along the way, we wondered who actually wrote all of these rules? Who passed the law about coloring within the lines? And who decided that we should follow a traditional career path?

We stopped playing by the rules – or at least what we thought were the rules – when we finally realized that our life belongs to us and us alone. When other people advised us to follow a traditional career path rather than start our own business, we listened but moved on, trusting our instincts and taking a series of calculated risks. Advice is generally well intentioned but not always useful. One piece of advice we were given was that we were too young to get married. Thirty-five years later, we’re still happy with our life together and more than a few of our early advisors have been separated or divorced more than once. So much for living life the way other people think it should be lived.

What we’ve learned, and what we know deep in our souls, is that although fear is a powerful force, it’s critical to keep whatever we’re worried about in perspective. The best way we know how to approach fear when making a change is to understand – and be very aware – that it’s impossible to prepare in advance for everything that might happen to us down the road. It’s true that some level of risk comes with any change.  But when we worry so much about every potential problem that might arise and therefore, we never make a move, it’s time to take control.

If you’re in a position of wanting to make a change but you have a long list of “what ifs” that’s keeping you from moving forward, it’s time to change your relationship with fear. You will absolutely not be able to predict what obstacles may or may not lie ahead, so you may as well stop worrying about them now. Stop focusing on what can go wrong and start thinking about the positive affects of making a change.

Take one step – and one day – at a time. When you hit a bump in the road, you’ll find a way to deal with it. You may even take a detour and end up going in a different direction than originally planned. That’s okay. It’s actually more than okay. That’s life. Truthfully, we’ve found that those detours are usually the best part of the journey.

At the same time, we remember clearly that our most successful ventures have been started in times of crisis. When we closed our children’s stores in the early 80s due to high interest rates (we were paying 21% on an SBA loan), we found temporary jobs to keep food on the table and scraped together $4,000 to start our salad dressing business. At the time, we were 3 months behind with our mortgage payments.

In fact, we have lived through many difficult times that have forced us to gain new strength, learn new skills and adjust how we look at life. Although we now find ourselves in one of the toughest economic situations we can imagine, we’re learning more about ourselves and about how we want to live each and every day.

It’s critical for all of us to be strong and hopeful. Never give up on your dreams and goals just because times are tough. We can all use this disastrous economy as an opportunity to regroup and rethink exactly how we want to live and what we want to do. Now is the perfect time to take charge of your life.

Sharing music and s’mores with some of our closest friends

In our commitment to living a life we love, we’ve found that it’s important – no, it’s essential – that we continually question what is and what isn’t working. And that’s our challenge to you. Right now, ask yourself:

1. Am I still passionate about what I’m doing?
2. Do I enjoy the people I spend time with?
3. Do I love where I live?

If the answer to each of these questions isn’t an enthusiastic “yes,” then you need to make an adjustment.

Time and again, we’ve been offered opportunities that seem to offer overwhelming advantages but often enough, we’ve turned those opportunities down. Why? Because they didn’t feel right. We’ve learned to trust our instincts and we take our feelings seriously enough to use them as our guides.

Of course we all need to take practical considerations into account but sometimes, the more logical choices just don’t feel right. And we’ve found that those feelings are what make the difference between a life that’s good enough and a life that’s vital, passionate, meaningful.

Whether you call it instinct or intuition, whether it comes from your heart or your gut, you need to trust your feelings and use them to determine your choices. That’s how you create a life you can love.