People use all kinds of excuses for not making a change, and most people list fear and lack of money as their biggest obstacles–but it’s a lack of information that usually turns out to be the culprit. Ignorance isn’t bliss, it’s scary. Since it takes no money to research your options, why not spend a little time coming up with a list of choices that will help bring you closer to solving your problem?

Take a piece of paper and describe your problem in a single sentence at the top of the page. Then list as many solutions as possible, even if some of them seem far-fetched or out of reach. Don’t let yourself reject any solutions at this point. It’s impossible to know which one will be right for you until you weigh the pros and cons of each and every opportunity. Here’s an example:

PROBLEM: I need to get into better physical condition.

POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS:

Join a gym.

Buy a treadmill.

Attend an excercise class.

Sign up for a dance class.

Walk every day.

Jog every day.

Swim every day.

Ride my bicycle every day.

Go on a diet.

Join a sports team.

Eat more healthful food.

Consider all of your options and be as open-minded as possible. In order to successfully solve any problem, you’ve got to get a handle on the various solutions before moving forward.

What we’ve learned, and what we know deep in our souls, is that although fear is a powerful force, it’s critical to keep whatever we’re worried about in perspective. The best way we know how to approach fear when making a change is to understand – and be very aware – that it’s impossible to prepare in advance for everything that might happen to us down the road. It’s true that some level of risk comes with any change.  But when we worry so much about every potential problem that might arise and therefore, we never make a move, it’s time to take control.

If you’re in a position of wanting to make a change but you have a long list of “what ifs” that’s keeping you from moving forward, it’s time to change your relationship with fear. You will absolutely not be able to predict what obstacles may or may not lie ahead, so you may as well stop worrying about them now. Stop focusing on what can go wrong and start thinking about the positive affects of making a change.

Take one step – and one day – at a time. When you hit a bump in the road, you’ll find a way to deal with it. You may even take a detour and end up going in a different direction than originally planned. That’s okay. It’s actually more than okay. That’s life. Truthfully, we’ve found that those detours are usually the best part of the journey.

There’s no doubt that we’re all born with different personality types. Some people are naturally outgoing, while others are more self-contained. But regardless of these qualities, you need passion, commitment and personal integrity in order to live what you love. These are qualities that Mia has in abundance and she can draw upon them to find her own place in the art world. Compromises and adjustments may be necessary but a rich and rewarding life is open to both introverts and extroverts. So start with the 5-point D.R.E.A.M. plan and see where you end up!

1. her husband loves Boston, the cold and his work
2. she takes care of her two adorable grandchildren one day a week
3. she’s worried about leaving behind Boston’s excellent medical facilities

She can’t decide whether these are serious roadblocks to her dream of living somewhere warm or simply excuses for staying stuck. Her concerns may seem very specific to her situation but just about any life question can be tackled using the 5-step D.R.E.A.M. guide that we discuss in Changing Your Course.

To get unstuck, the first step is always to Decide whether or not your dream is important enough to warrant spending time examining your options. If so, Step 2 will help you do that Research, part of which has to do with exploring the logistics. In the case of our reader, perhaps she could start off by spending a week or two in Florida and add more time the next year. For that week or two, alternate childcare arrangements could be made for her grandchildren. Part of the necessary research also means looking at the relationships involved. If our reader is really miserable, she needs to share those feelings with her family so that together they can come up with solutions. Maybe she can go south with a friend or perhaps her husband can come for some of the time.

As always, there are choices that have to be made. Flexibility is the key. If your goals are important enough, you can find ways to achieve them even if you have to make adjustments to fit the realities of your family, income, location, etc. You have to be prepared to modify and adapt your goals but don’t let this stop you. Get unstuck and get some sun!

We’ve certainly found this to be true when it comes to changing your course. There are always difficulties to face when you’re trying to make a change of any kind—these are the inevitable bumps in the road. But we’ve found that focusing on your goal is the only way to get from here to there, from where you are now to where you want to be.

It’s like when you first learned to drive a car. You had to learn to keep your eyes focused on the road ahead, rather than stare at what was right in front of the car. If you fix your eyes on what’s three feet ahead, you end up swerving all over the road—very scary! Of course, you have to pay attention if there’s a big pothole coming up but when you stay focused on where you want to go, you keep moving ahead in a straight line.

Detours provide some of life’s greatest memories 

As a toddler, you faced the challenges of learning how to talk and how to walk. Those weren’t easy skills to master, and you didn’t do them right the first time you tried. But taking those first steps gave you a sense of accomplishment, of mastery. As you’ve matured, you’ve had to face the challenges of love and confront the demands of earning a living. Again, none of this comes easy but mistakes are the way you learn what not to do next time.

Now you’re looking to create a life you can truly love and this too presents its share of challenges. You’ll certainly run into roadblocks along the way, but here’s the thing: If you let a roadblock stop you from moving forward, you’ll end up stuck in place. That’s guaranteed.

When faced with an obstacle that stops you dead in your tracks, look for the unexpected – but just right – detour. There’s more than one way to tackle any problem. The solutions may not always be obvious and you might need to modify your plans, but there’s always a way to move forward. The rewards that come when you succeed are so great that if you have a passion or a dream waiting to come to life, there’s no question that it’s worth a try.

Remember: most obstacles aren’t nearly as insurmountable as they initially appear to be.