Live What You Love

The art of living what you love

Bob and Mel — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 17:48:10 +0000

A recent question from one of our readers made us think about the way temperament interacts with living what you love. Mia is a trained artist who wants to make a living as a painter and sculptor but she has no idea how to go about marketing herself. She feels shy and unconnected to the art world, and wonders if she has to come up with a gimmick to “sell” her work, as so many nationally known artists have. How, she asked, does a self-proclaimed introvert succeed as an artist?

There’s no doubt that we’re all born with different personality types. Some people are naturally outgoing, while others are more self-contained. But regardless of these qualities, you need passion, commitment and personal integrity in order to live what you love. These are qualities that Mia has in abundance and she can draw upon them to find her own place in the art world. Compromises and adjustments may be necessary but a rich and rewarding life is open to both introverts and extroverts. So start with the 5-point D.R.E.A.M. plan and see where you end up!

Bob and Mel — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 19:25:15 +0000

Life is to be lived and to be loved.

Making it work for both of you

Bob and Mel — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 19:24:02 +0000

We talk a lot about how to handle the challenges that arise when you want to change your course, but sometimes the biggest challenge is the one closest to your heart. It’s frequently true that one member of a couple is ready to make changes before the other, and there’s often no way to compartmentalize the effects this might have upon the relationship. Living what you love can get complicated when you’re living with the one you love.

We’re certainly not marriage counselors but we do know from firsthand experience that it’s possible to integrate a lifetime of significant changes within a very happy marriage. The “Evaluate” step in our D.R.E.A.M. process is where you need to consider the impact your individual dream will have on your family as a whole. As always, communication is the key. A good relationship requires listening to your partner and compromising when necessary in order to find the best solution. See how you can get your partner enthusiastic and involved in the changes you’re contemplating. A willingness to adjust plans is essential, so stay flexible. And remember that with compassion and creativity, two people can change course together, one step at a time.

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing

Bob and Mel — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 20:35:12 +0000

We all have big decisions to make at various points in our lives, and they’re the ones we tend to focus on. After all, they create the narrative drama of our lives. But if you think that changing your course has to mean turning your life upside down, think again. Let’s say you’re really not enjoying your job these days. You could certainly undertake a dramatic change—quitting is always an appealing fantasy in these circumstances. But you might also be able change your job experience without changing your life from top to bottom. In other words, you don’t necessarily need a complete life make-over in order to create the life you want.

Before you can decide whether or not it’s time to make a change, you have to first examine what it is about your current situation that’s not working. We found that the best way to do this is to consider the Big Four: Passion, People, Environment, and Money. It’s not until you examine these four areas of your life and determine which needs attention that you can make a meaningful choice. You can’t come up with a solution until you clearly identify the problem. You may then find that the best solution calls for only a small change. And it’s all those seemingly small choices that end up, in fact, creating the real narrative of our lives.

Bob and Mel — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 14:34:54 +0000

Give yourself time to dream.

No Blackberry

Bob and Mel — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 14:33:52 +0000

No cell phone. No TV or Tivo. No laptop. No iPod. No Wii or XBox. No PDA. No IMing. No texting. No (so appropriately named!) Twittering.

What would your life be like if you chose to put down all those electronic tools, toys and gadgets and just walk away? Ok, what would your life be like if you did this for ONE day? Then think of that same day with no shopping, with no manicuring of nails, hair, home or lawn, with no multi-tasking and micromanaging at all? Can you imagine the space that would open up?

Maybe you could think about your life. How’s it going? Are you doing what you want with it? Are you living fully and passionately? Maybe you could daydream. What would life be like if you did what you really wanted to do? What would it be like to live somewhere different or work somehow differently? What would it be like if you were living what you love?

Who knows where your thoughts might go? Your life might rush in to fill the spaces left when you turn off the distractions. And all you need is one day.

Living what you love in Vermont

Bob and Mel — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:11:13 +0000

Bob is a seventh-generation Vermonter. Our son Jesse was born and raised in Vermont. The house we built by ourselves is nestled into some of the state’s prettiest green hills. Yep, our Vermont roots run deep. It’s a small state and we’ve known some of its best artists and craftspeople forever. So when we began thinking about opening an on-line retail store, we knew that we’d be turning to a lot of our old Vermont friends. Like Spencer Lewis, whose amazing music—he plays fiddle, guitar, mandolin, banjo—we play at our restaurant in Anguilla. We’ve been buying our favorite chunky cutting boards from the same folks in southern Vermont since our first housewares store in the 1970s. And we’re sampling and selling some remarkable new cheeses made by people who truly live what they love on Vermont’s little family-run dairy farms.

You might be wondering about the link between our Live What You Love books and our on-line shop. As long-time retailers in the world of brick-and-mortar stores, we’ve found that everyday products can have a tremendous influence on how we feel—the quality of our lives is greatly affected by the things in our lives. We’re also committed to finding and using products that are sustainable and green. Above all, we’re drawn to products made by people who are passionate about their work. We cherish things created by artists and artisans whose lives are charged by enthusiasm and commitment; somehow that spirit always seems to come through in the quality of their work. And so researching, selecting and displaying the products in our on-line store allows us to reach out to those who make a living doing what they love. In Vermont, that’s often through wood-working or glass-blowing or cheese-making and the end products, as you can see here, are pretty amazing. But oh, those Vermont cheeses…

Bob and Mel — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 19:45:43 +0000

Do more than just put in time, earn money, and coexist with people. Live a life with passion, significance, and meaning.

The Hidden Kitchen

Bob and Mel — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 19:44:42 +0000

People always ask us how we find the energy to start new businesses but for us, it’s just not work. It’s a way to experience new pleasures every day. We were in Boston just the other week following up on a lead for some tropical dried flowers to sell in our on-line store. As we were leaving, hibiscus and bird of paradise in hand, we noticed some policemen stepping out of an unmarked doorway carrying paper bags that were clearly filled with food. We looked around: no restaurant in sight. Curiosity got the best of us—some people follow the money; we always follow the food—so we circled around to retrace their footsteps. This led us to a doorway that appeared to lead into a small, anonymous office building. Then we saw a very little counter with a sign that read “The Hidden Kitchen.”

You know those moments of serendipity that you never want to forget? Well, that’s what we experienced in this tiny “restaurant.” We had fried egg sandwiches for $1.65 that will go down as the best we’ve ever tasted. Raving about egg sandwiches may seem a bit crazy, but it’s really more than that. Being restaurateurs, we treasure all types of dining experiences as long as there’s some kind of passion and commitment evident in the food, the service, the ambience. The Hidden Kitchen scores on all fronts. Nick and Maria Koufos, the Greek couple who run the place, make everything from scratch and welcome customers to their closet of a restaurant with open arms. It felt like we had found another home. And once again we bumped into the truth that’s hidden in plain sight: when you keep your eyes open, life offers unexpected pleasures in funny places.

Ch-ch-ch-ch changes

Bob and Mel — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 13:00:56 +0000

Having a baby, losing a job, moving to a new town, getting divorced, starting a business, getting married, becoming the boss, becoming a grandparent—what do all these things have in common?

Change, of course, is the common denominator. The big life changes, like birth and marriage and death, are easily visible yet our lives are all changing minute to minute. (Isn’t that what’s so amazing about being around little kids? You can actually see the changes from day to day, as they grow and learn.) For some reason, human beings resist change—it feels scary and stressful. But change is unavoidable. How you handle change is where choice comes in.

Successfully dealing with change depends on researching and evaluating the challenges and options at hand. Give yourself the gift of time to work on this without distractions.

1) Ask yourself what you want to do.
2) Be as focused as you can with your answers. Write them down!
3) Give careful consideration to all options, no matter how improbable they may seem.
Right now, you’re gathering information.
4) Acknowledge that change is a normal, natural part of life.

Keep coming back to this exercise until you can clearly express the changes you need to make in order to live the life you want. The insights you gain at this point will allow you to move forward. And you’ll develop the confidence that you can do more than simply endure change. You can—really and truly—learn to embrace it.